Post your fav Joke - Page 8

ArcticStones · 02-24-2006, 03:57 AM

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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satified smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit piqued, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says "Well, I guess we finally answered that question!"

Phil St. Romain · 02-24-2006, 10:56 AM

[QUOTE=ArcticStones].
I understand that the following decisions is being made purely on the basis of cost analysis carried out by objective experts at the Government Accounting Office, and hence should not be misconstrued as a political joke:

But it was, and needs to be the last, OK?

ArcticStones · 02-24-2006, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phil St. Romain


	But it was, and needs to be the last, OK?

Outsourcing usually is done to the jobs of customer contacts, factory workers and (increasingly) computer programmers. So I, for one, thought it was hilarious to read a fictitious news story about outsourcing at very top echelon of power.

I received the "Outsourcing of the Presidency" story from a good friend. Before posting here, I very carefully edited out any reference whatsoever to any president, living or dead -- Republican, Democratic or Whig. All this so as not to give it political colour or slant, or tread on any sensitive toes.

It was not a political joke, and I did my best to ensure there was not a taint of politics in it! Re-reading it, I am unable to see that there is.

If I have nevertheless -- despite these sincere precautions -- offended anyone, then I’m sorry.

With best regards,
ArcticStones

Photek · 02-24-2006, 03:34 PM

come on guys.....!

Lets not get bogged down.... his is meant to be a FUNNY thread!

I will kick it back off again!

.........After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Poe calls a brief recess and retires to his chambers. En route, he bumps into Judge Graham.

“Say,” Poe asks, “what would you give a 63-year-old hooker?”

“Christ,” Graham replies. “Five or six bucks, tops.”

ArcticStones · 02-24-2006, 05:45 PM

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Good jokes have many sources. Here is a Sufi joke (Sufism is considered by some to be a mystical branch of Islam):

Someone once asked Mullah Nasruddin how he became so wise. He answered:

"I string together words any which way, and when I see the look of
impression on people’s faces, then I remember what I have just said."

ArcticStones · 02-24-2006, 05:54 PM

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Heard of Rindercella? This story by Archie Campbell contains the most amazing sequence of spoonerisms. (PS. It’s even more amazing if you have the opportunity to hear it in recorded form.) Enjoy!

The Story of Rindercella

"Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince.

And this prandsom hince was going to have a bancy fall. And he'd invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. Finally, the night of the bancy fall arrived and Rindercella couldn't go. So she just cat down and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all at once there appeard before her, her gairy fodmother. And he touched her with his wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"

When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door because he had been watchin' behind a woden hindow. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!

The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize!

So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!"

Phil St. Romain · 02-24-2006, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArcticStones


	I received the "Outsourcing of the Presidency" story from a good friend. Before posting here, I very carefully edited out any reference whatsoever to any president, living or dead -- Republican, Democratic or Whig. All this so as not to give it political colour or slant, or tread on any sensitive toes. It was not a political joke, and I did my best to ensure there was not a taint of politics in it! Re-reading it, I am unable to see that there is.

I don't what other President you think might be holding the Office in August 2006 besides George W. Bush, so it's pretty disinenuous to say you've edited out reference to any. Concluding with a comment that "our terminated Chief Executive may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience" is just a tad politically tainted. In short, this can easily be taken to be nothing more than a sophisticated "Bush is stupid and doesn't know how to do anything" post. We don't want that sort of stuff here (nor the converse, for that matter). If you're "unable to see" what I'm saying, then send posts you have doubts about to me via PM before posting them.

I did receive a complaint about this one, which is why I checked the thread (which I'd pretty much ignored for awhile, as the jokes have been . . . well . . . the best ones were on pages 1 and 2

). I'm sure you didn't intend to give offense, but you did.

People come here to talk about Mac OS X, Macs, and related topics. The Coat Room allows for a little more latitude in sujects, but the last thing we want is for someone to come onto this forum and find their country, their political leaders, or their religion insulted. Other Mac forums allow this; we don't.

ArcticStones · 02-25-2006, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phil St. Romain


	…send posts you have doubts about to me via PM before posting them. I did receive a complaint about this one… …I'm sure you didn't intend to give offense, but you did.

Phil, I would be more than happy to let you preview my future posts to the jokes thread!

– ArcticStones

Phil St. Romain · 02-25-2006, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArcticStones


	Phil, I would be more than happy to let you preview my future posts to the jokes thread! – ArcticStones

Responded via PM.

Photek · 02-25-2006, 01:33 PM

would this link be considered political... or funny?

http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ndlesslove.mov

Phil St. Romain · 02-25-2006, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Photek


	would this link be considered political... or funny? http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ndlesslove.mov

Ha. A little of both, as is often the case, but nothing unduly critical or mean-spirited, imo. Very clever.

Photek · 02-25-2006, 02:30 PM

Quote:


	Ha. A little of both, as is often the case, but nothing unduly critical or mean-spirited, imo. Very clever.

yeh, makes me laugh every time I see it...

kungfumath · 02-27-2006, 08:41 AM

it's kinda creepy actually, but funny nonetheless

hopspch · 02-28-2006, 04:28 PM

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim
suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly
jumped in, swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news
and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of
another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound
mindedness.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so
sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How
soon can I go home?"

skeetone · 03-07-2006, 06:56 AM

Always in for a couple of jokes. And it's nice to have a large collection of jokes at one spot for when friends are coming over...just makes it easier to find =)

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

10. What is the speed of darkness?

11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

17. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

18. Can you cry under water?

19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

A friend of mine send these through to my email after I send him a couple from previous posts. Thought a couple of these are quite amusing =)

ArcticStones · 03-11-2006, 01:54 AM

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Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, .. "Good trade."

ArcticStones · 03-11-2006, 10:04 AM

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Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice, HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away...

"We're down here..."

Photek · 03-25-2006, 05:50 PM

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/72212/..._your_english/

hahahahahahahah

zeb · 03-31-2006, 09:42 PM

Two elderly ladies are sitting in church. One leans over and says to the other "I just let a really bad silent fart. What should I do?" The other replies "The first thing I'd do is replace the batteries in your hearing aid."

ArcticStones · 04-01-2006, 01:07 AM

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Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.”

Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the Test ain’t too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.”

St. Peter continued, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God’s first name?”

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forrest replied, “Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.”

The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How About the next one?” asked St. Peter.

“How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,” replied Forrest, “but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”

Astounded, St. Peter said, “Twelve? Twelve?! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a Year?”

Forrest replied, “Shucks, there’s got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…”

“Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind… but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name”?

“Sure,” Forrest replied, “it’s Andy.”

“Andy!?” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”

“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own…”

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: “Run Forrest, run.”

02-24-2006, 03:57 AM	#141
ArcticStones Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 3,152	The old chicken-and-egg question . A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satified smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit piqued, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says "Well, I guess we finally answered that question!"

02-24-2006, 05:45 PM	#145
ArcticStones Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 3,152	A Sufi joke . Good jokes have many sources. Here is a Sufi joke (Sufism is considered by some to be a mystical branch of Islam): Someone once asked Mullah Nasruddin how he became so wise. He answered: "I string together words any which way, and when I see the look of impression on people’s faces, then I remember what I have just said."

02-24-2006, 05:54 PM	#146
ArcticStones Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 3,152	Rindercella . Heard of Rindercella? This story by Archie Campbell contains the most amazing sequence of spoonerisms. (PS. It’s even more amazing if you have the opportunity to hear it in recorded form.) Enjoy! The Story of Rindercella "Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince. And this prandsom hince was going to have a bancy fall. And he'd invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. Finally, the night of the bancy fall arrived and Rindercella couldn't go. So she just cat down and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all at once there appeard before her, her gairy fodmother. And he touched her with his wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!" When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door because he had been watchin' behind a woden hindow. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper! The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize! So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!" Last edited by ArcticStones; 02-24-2006 at 06:08 PM.

02-27-2006, 08:41 AM	#153
kungfumath Triple-A Player Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Euless, TX Posts: 135	it's kinda creepy actually, but funny nonetheless __________________ My computer has a first name. It's A-P-P-L-E... e^(pii) + 1 = 0

02-28-2006, 04:28 PM	#154
hopspch Prospect Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 1	Jim & Edna Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in, swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

02-24-2006, 10:56 AM	#142
Phil St. Romain Site Admin Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,350	[QUOTE=ArcticStones]. I understand that the following decisions is being made purely on the basis of cost analysis carried out by objective experts at the Government Accounting Office, and hence should not be misconstrued as a political joke: But it was, and needs to be the last, OK?

02-24-2006, 03:34 PM	#144
Photek Hall of Famer Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Warwick, UK Posts: 4,835	come on guys.....! Lets not get bogged down.... his is meant to be a FUNNY thread! I will kick it back off again! .........After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Poe calls a brief recess and retires to his chambers. En route, he bumps into Judge Graham. “Say,” Poe asks, “what would you give a 63-year-old hooker?” “Christ,” Graham replies. “Five or six bucks, tops.”

02-25-2006, 01:33 PM	#150
Photek Hall of Famer Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Warwick, UK Posts: 4,835	would this link be considered political... or funny? http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ndlesslove.mov

03-07-2006, 06:56 AM	#155
skeetone Major Leaguer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 344	Always in for a couple of jokes. And it's nice to have a large collection of jokes at one spot for when friends are coming over...just makes it easier to find =) 1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? 2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? 3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection? 6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him? 8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? 10. What is the speed of darkness? 11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics? 12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? 13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? 14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? 15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? 16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? 17. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? 18. Can you cry under water? 19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? 21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases? 23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours? 24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? A friend of mine send these through to my email after I send him a couple from previous posts. Thought a couple of these are quite amusing =) __________________ iMac 20" 2.0GHz 2Gb 250Gb logitech mx510. iMac 24" 2.8ghz 4gb logitech mx Revolution. Canon 450d FujiFilm FinePix F11 airport express 2x / extreme Couple of ext. hd's. iPhone 1st gen dual boot iPod iPod Touch 8Gb

03-11-2006, 01:54 AM	#156
ArcticStones Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 3,152	. Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, .. "Good trade."

03-11-2006, 10:04 AM	#157
ArcticStones Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 3,152	. Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice, HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?" Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away... "We're down here..."

03-25-2006, 05:50 PM	#158
Photek Hall of Famer Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Warwick, UK Posts: 4,835	http://www.metacafe.com/watch/72212/..._your_english/ hahahahahahahah

03-31-2006, 09:42 PM	#159
zeb Major Leaguer Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 457	Two elderly ladies are sitting in church. One leans over and says to the other "I just let a really bad silent fart. What should I do?" The other replies "The first thing I'd do is replace the batteries in your hearing aid." __________________ ..:: Zeb ::..

04-01-2006, 01:07 AM	#160
ArcticStones Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 3,152	Forrest Gump goes to Heaven . Forrest Gump goes to Heaven The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.” Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the Test ain’t too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.” St. Peter continued, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God’s first name?” Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.” Forrest replied, “Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.” The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How About the next one?” asked St. Peter. “How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,” replied Forrest, “but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.” Astounded, St. Peter said, “Twelve? Twelve?! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a Year?” Forrest replied, “Shucks, there’s got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…” “Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind… but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name”? “Sure,” Forrest replied, “it’s Andy.” “Andy!?” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?” “Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own…” St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: “Run Forrest, run.”