POLL: Favorite simpsons quotes - Page 6

cudaboy_71 · 04-05-2004, 08:50 PM

ah-ha! a resurrected thread. i cant believe i missed this. i've been reading (and laughing and wiping tears from my eyes) for 15 minutes now.

my personal alltime fav appears to be absent--dont remember the episode title. but, bart is using a telescope and spying around the city. he witnesses comic book guy and the dry cleaner having a discussion.

Comic Book Guy holding up a pair of pants. the seat is completely shredded: These “Bat Pants” have been shredded by the Riddler.

dry cleaner clerk: No, just your ass.

Comic Book Guy: That’s what I call my ass.

yellow · 04-06-2004, 12:28 PM

Homer and Marge are watching a parade and some uniformed men march by:

Quote:


	Homer: Bless you boys. Marge: Homer, those are ice cream men! Homer: I know!

yellow · 04-06-2004, 01:30 PM

Episode: Lisa the Vegeterian

Quote:


	Homer: Waitamin Waitamin Wait a minute... Lisa honey, are you saying you are never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No! Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork Chops!? Lisa: Daaad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Yeah right Lisa, a wonderful "magical" animal. Hehe.

tlarkin · 04-06-2004, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow


	Episode: Lisa the Vegeterian

Also in the same episode Smithers and Mr Burns are talking about donating 1 million dollars to charity, and Mr Burns says yeah when pigs fly. Only to see a pig fly across the window.

yellow · 04-21-2004, 06:34 PM

Bart: Wow! God is so in your face!
Homer: Yeah.. he's my favorite fictional character.

schneb · 04-29-2004, 11:31 AM

Shopkeeper: I must warn you the doll is cursed.
Homer Simpson: That's bad.
Homer Simpson: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer Simpson: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer Simpson: That's bad!
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free choice of toppings!
Homer Simpson: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled.]
Shopkeeper: That's bad.
Homer Simpson: Can I go now?

tlarkin · 05-14-2004, 05:20 PM

I don't know if this is a repeat but....

<to the tune of that chumba wumba song>

I take a whisky drink I take a vodka drink

when I pee, I go in the kitchen sink!

-Homer

schneb · 05-14-2004, 07:35 PM

Can't stay away, can ya tlarkin? heh heh ;-)

I'm surprised I missed one of my all-time favorites...

"Son, you tried your best, and you best wasn't good enough. The moral? Never try..." - Homer

daniel3625 · 05-14-2004, 10:09 PM

Homer: Picks up fone
Directory Assistance:What Name Please
Homer:Whats the number for 911?

schneb · 05-24-2004, 11:21 AM

"Tormenting your sister is one thing, but I will not stand idly by and let you feed a hungry dog... GO TO YOUR ROOM!" - Homer

acme.mail.order · 05-27-2004, 11:16 AM

just posted this elsewhere, but it belongs here too.
Appeared in the intro for one of the Halloween episodes, I think.

Star Trek #17: So Very Tired.

Sulu (with cane): "Captain! Klingons off the starboard bow!"
Kirk (with grey hair): "Again with the Klingons. Mr. Scott! I need full power!"
Scotty (with extra weight): "It's no use, Capt'n. I canna reach the contrrrrrols!!"

tlarkin · 05-27-2004, 11:36 AM

The D'oh of Homer:

Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead.

Do I know what rhetorical means?

Does whisky count as beer?

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Shut up, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

There's a New Mexico?!?

They have the Internet on computers, now?

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.

Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leah and as smart as Yoda.

Homer : Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.
Lisa : Really? Where?
Homer : Uh ... Somewhere in the back.

Okay.....NO MORE HOMER QUOTES........MUST RESIST......MUST GET BACK TO WORK.....

schneb · 05-28-2004, 03:07 PM

Excellent additions tlarkin. But you missed something great after one of them, so I must add it here...

"Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog."

Bart agreed and went out to find his dog...

"Aw, I almost got him to eat dog food!"

echo · 06-03-2004, 05:06 PM

Marge:
I'm too crazy to go outside, but I'm not crazy enough to have any imaginary friends!

tlarkin · 06-03-2004, 05:35 PM

Marge: Homer do you ever drink alone?

Homer: Does god count as a person?

Marge: No

Homer: Then, yes.

tlarkin · 08-05-2004, 12:49 PM

Okay this is dedicated to moe:
___________________________________

Hi, I'm Moe, or, as the ladies use to call me: "Hey you behind the bushes"

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Renee (Moe’s girlfriend): Really, you think I’m gorgeous?
Moe: Yeah, well the parts that are showing. I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake ass or something.
Renee: You don’t talk to a lot of women do you?

People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.

They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.

Moe: Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe.
Moe: The results came back today.

Come on yellow, you have to have a few more simpsons quotes up your sleeve???

bramley · 08-05-2004, 02:09 PM

Chief Wiggum: "Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?"

That Chief Wiggum .... always gets the best lines!

fil_dawg · 08-11-2004, 04:08 PM

Bones heal, chicks dig scars and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world!!

yellow · 08-11-2004, 04:17 PM

Hehehe, that quite IS awesome.

tlarkin · 11-11-2005, 04:22 PM

Homer's brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.
Homer: Marge I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Marge: Oh, my God!
Homer's brain: No, the other secret!
Homer: Marge, I never graduated from High School.
Marge: Well that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does.

and

Dondelinger: Now i'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has.
Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet donut.
Homer: This is not happening!

sorry this thread shall never die!

04-29-2004, 11:31 AM	#106
schneb MVP Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Redlands, CA Posts: 2,300	Shopkeeper: I must warn you the doll is cursed. Homer Simpson: That's bad. Homer Simpson: But it comes with a free frogurt! Homer Simpson: That's good. Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed. Homer Simpson: That's bad! Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free choice of toppings! Homer Simpson: That's good! Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate. [Homer looks puzzled.] Shopkeeper: That's bad. Homer Simpson: Can I go now? __________________ Tour Israel and Jordan via CD-ROM

05-14-2004, 05:20 PM	#107
tlarkin League Commissioner Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 11,352	I don't know if this is a repeat but.... <to the tune of that chumba wumba song> I take a whisky drink I take a vodka drink when I pee, I go in the kitchen sink! -Homer __________________ sudo make me a sammich

05-14-2004, 07:35 PM	#108
schneb MVP Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Redlands, CA Posts: 2,300	Can't stay away, can ya tlarkin? heh heh ;-) I'm surprised I missed one of my all-time favorites... "Son, you tried your best, and you best wasn't good enough. The moral? Never try..." - Homer __________________ Tour Israel and Jordan via CD-ROM

05-14-2004, 10:09 PM	#109
daniel3625 Triple-A Player Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Land of Kangaroo's and Vegemite Posts: 144	Homer: Picks up fone Directory Assistance:What Name Please Homer:Whats the number for 911? __________________ This has been another announcement by "daniel3625" The Computer: Processor: AMD 2600+ RAM: 1024mb HDD: 40 Gig OS: Windows XP SP 2

05-24-2004, 11:21 AM	#110
schneb MVP Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Redlands, CA Posts: 2,300	"Tormenting your sister is one thing, but I will not stand idly by and let you feed a hungry dog... GO TO YOUR ROOM!" - Homer __________________ Tour Israel and Jordan via CD-ROM

04-05-2004, 08:50 PM	#101
cudaboy_71 All Star Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: sacramento, ca Posts: 874	ah-ha! a resurrected thread. i cant believe i missed this. i've been reading (and laughing and wiping tears from my eyes) for 15 minutes now. my personal alltime fav appears to be absent--dont remember the episode title. but, bart is using a telescope and spying around the city. he witnesses comic book guy and the dry cleaner having a discussion. Comic Book Guy holding up a pair of pants. the seat is completely shredded: These “Bat Pants” have been shredded by the Riddler. dry cleaner clerk: No, just your ass. Comic Book Guy: That’s what I call my ass.

04-21-2004, 06:34 PM	#105
yellow Moderator Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 10,677	Bart: Wow! God is so in your face! Homer: Yeah.. he's my favorite fictional character.

05-27-2004, 11:16 AM	#111
acme.mail.order League Commissioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Tokyo Posts: 6,334	just posted this elsewhere, but it belongs here too. Appeared in the intro for one of the Halloween episodes, I think. Star Trek #17: So Very Tired. Sulu (with cane): "Captain! Klingons off the starboard bow!" Kirk (with grey hair): "Again with the Klingons. Mr. Scott! I need full power!" Scotty (with extra weight): "It's no use, Capt'n. I canna reach the contrrrrrols!!"

05-27-2004, 11:36 AM	#112
tlarkin League Commissioner Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 11,352	The D'oh of Homer: Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead. Do I know what rhetorical means? Does whisky count as beer? Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos! Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Shut up, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip! There's a New Mexico?!? They have the Internet on computers, now? Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog. Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leah and as smart as Yoda. Homer : Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible. Lisa : Really? Where? Homer : Uh ... Somewhere in the back. Okay.....NO MORE HOMER QUOTES........MUST RESIST......MUST GET BACK TO WORK..... __________________ sudo make me a sammich

05-28-2004, 03:07 PM	#113
schneb MVP Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Redlands, CA Posts: 2,300	Excellent additions tlarkin. But you missed something great after one of them, so I must add it here... "Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog." Bart agreed and went out to find his dog... "Aw, I almost got him to eat dog food!" __________________ Tour Israel and Jordan via CD-ROM

06-03-2004, 05:06 PM	#114
echo Prospect Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Eugene, Oregon Posts: 28	Marge: I'm too crazy to go outside, but I'm not crazy enough to have any imaginary friends!

06-03-2004, 05:35 PM	#115
tlarkin League Commissioner Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 11,352	Marge: Homer do you ever drink alone? Homer: Does god count as a person? Marge: No Homer: Then, yes. __________________ sudo make me a sammich

08-05-2004, 12:49 PM	#116
tlarkin League Commissioner Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 11,352	Okay this is dedicated to moe: ___________________________________ Hi, I'm Moe, or, as the ladies use to call me: "Hey you behind the bushes" I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. Renee (Moe’s girlfriend): Really, you think I’m gorgeous? Moe: Yeah, well the parts that are showing. I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake ass or something. Renee: You don’t talk to a lot of women do you? People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine. They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants. Moe: Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab? Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe. Moe: The results came back today. Come on yellow, you have to have a few more simpsons quotes up your sleeve??? __________________ sudo make me a sammich

08-05-2004, 02:09 PM	#117
bramley MVP Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Cumbria, UK Posts: 2,461	Chief Wiggum: "Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?" That Chief Wiggum .... always gets the best lines!

08-11-2004, 04:08 PM	#118
fil_dawg Triple-A Player Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Atlanta,GA Posts: 81	Captain Lance Murdock Bones heal, chicks dig scars and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world!!

08-11-2004, 04:17 PM	#119
yellow Moderator Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 10,677	Hehehe, that quite IS awesome.

11-11-2005, 04:22 PM	#120
tlarkin League Commissioner Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 11,352	Homer's brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past. Homer: Marge I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom. Marge: Oh, my God! Homer's brain: No, the other secret! Homer: Marge, I never graduated from High School. Marge: Well that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does. and Dondelinger: Now i'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has. Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOO! Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet donut. Homer: This is not happening! sorry this thread shall never die! __________________ sudo make me a sammich