Quote of the day..
 

"there is no such thing as bad weather... just the wrong clothing... buy a sexy raincoat and live a little"

Billy Connelly


anyone got any other insightful quotes?...

... come on Arctic this thread was made for you :D

Don't get caught with the sticky end of the lollipop.

The biggest problem today is stupidity. We should just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself.

anon.

Here a quote I made up myself but it hasn't caught onto the population yet.

Learning curves are like slides at the playground. They are hard to climb up, but they are very easy to slide down.

Brilliant. It's amazing how many people believe in evolution, yet take desperate tactics to avoid its application.

Yeah, a friend of mine used to shake his head when reading about someone being injured doing something really stupid and say: "Survival of the fittest".

That reminds me of another quote that I saw on a coffee mug once:

"Ignorance should be illegal - if not illegal, at least painful!"

LOL! That came at a perfect time. I am in California DMV Hell right now dealing with the Borg regarding the titling of my car (that I sold to someone in the UK). I think I'll get that mug for every employee at the main office in Sacramento!

haha that made my day

schneb... thats just a bunch of words... can you translate that for me ?

I seem to remember posting this quote on this forum before.... but here goes..

"you cant polish a turd"

I think that's similar to a quote by Ted Turner (the CNN founder) who when he lost out in the semi-finals of the America's Cup trials in a somewhat radical 12-meter yacht with a blunt stern designed by Britt Chance, turned to Britt and said: "You know, Britt, even a turd is pointed at both ends".

Well, roughly translated...

I am in California DMV Hell
California Department of Motor Vehicles is an example of government bureaucracy run-amok. Horribly inefficient, and the model for spoofing on the Simpsons for Marge's sisters occupation.

right now dealing with the Borg
The government employees in Sacramento are drones within a bureaucratic collective.

regarding the titling of my car
I sold my rare car to someone in the UK. He is patiently waiting while I navigate around the state government red tape, with long lines, constant busy phone lines, and long call waits.

thanks for clearing that up :)

thats a damn nice car by the way...

And exactly what do you have against the Borg that would cause you to insult them in such a way?


From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggety beasties; And things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!.... author unknown.

I was gonna join the borg, but then i realised, all the men and women look alike:eek:

My apologies to the Borg collective for the unfair comparison.

Quote of the Day
 

Here is my favorite so far.

"I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

only just read that... thats much more eloquent than my version :)

will try to slip that into conversation at work tomorrow..

I thought about that, but the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought - if the thought I thought was the thought I thought I thought, then maybe I wouldn't have thought so much...

I thought that's what you meant.!!

That was from Richard Nixon during his campaign for the 1968 (or 1972, but I think '68) US presidential election, if I remember correctly.

Gosh, suddenly I want to start posting quotes from Eddie Izzard. The only problem is that I would probably get banned from the forums for doing it.

I am constantly using this quote. It speaks volumes...

"Any dead fish can float downstream."

And this is my new caveat. Especially regarding movies coming out of Hollywood.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

And the corollary:

"Just because if feels good, doesn't mean you get to do it."

I like Zumwalt's law: "The probability of failure of a test or demonstration is directly proportional to the number and importance of the people watching."

A couple of others:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
-- Albert Einstein"

"In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.
-- Dave Barry"

That's one of my favorite Einstein quotes! As there are a number of teachers in my family, I'm also partial to this one:

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made School Boards."
--Mark Twain

He also has another in defense of idiots though:

"We are all erring creatures, and mainly idiots, but God made us so and it is dangerous to criticise."
--Mark Twain

These are all great.

Glad I can see these at work so I can post them on the dry erase board!

(in someone else's handwriting of course)

A quote that I use often, especially in school is from Mark Twain
I pitty the man who hath not the imagination to spell a word more than one way.

Love that take, but that doesn't apply in the case of Windows -- there the probability of failure is high no matter who or how important the watchers.

I wonder what ever happened to this thought:

"There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.
-- Henry Ford"

Tis better for people to believe you to be a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. -Mark Twain

We should be careful to get out of an experience the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again -- and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more. -Mark Twain

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging. -Mark Twain

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice. -Mark Twain

.
"Today, we’re changing the way we work with hardware vendors to ensure that we can provide complete experiences with absolutely no compromises. We’ll do the same with phones—providing choice as we work to create great end-to-end experiences."

-- Steve Ballmer, Microsoft


"Time is the sand in the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich of life."

-- William Grauer
(fellow high-school student)


"Money is a lot like manure. If you spread it around, it does a lot of good. But if you pile it all up in one place, it stinks like hell."

.

Ah... thanks J_Christopher, you just reminded me of another good Einstein quote (the last Mark Twain quote above triggered this memory):

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18."
--Albert Einstein

A ship is safe in the harbour, but that's not what ships were built for.

Perfect description of the City Council where I live. :)

"When our deep plots do pall: and that should teach us--There's a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will." - Hamlet, act 5, scene II

"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." - Opening line in the movie Bella

Yet Another Einstein Quote: "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein"

"I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure" - Mark Twain

If you can't lead the intellectuals, then at least lead the perverts. There are far more of them, and most of them are the intellectuals.

I think this was originally an Abe Lincoln quote.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Although without getting all anal about it, I *think* Twain was after Lincoln, but am not 100% certain.

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

W. H. Auden

Why, to help me of course!

Lincoln was shot when Twain was 30-years old. He was the first to say it.

He also said the following (which should be part of every primary speech)...

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.”

Wouldn't it be wonderful if that final sentiment surfaced again; if the Presidency was less political (as it was then) than it is today.

Less seriously, from a bumper sticker on my way home tonight.

Wag more, bark less

"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself"

I don't care who y'are, that's funny!

But if the lawn were aware enough to cut itself, wouldn't that be a sign of a mental illness? If it's not suicide, it's certainly self-mutilation.

credit for that one goes to facebook's bumper sticker app =)
photo

Exactly. emo. ;)

Unfortunately, we are out of control on that slippery slope with no way of stopping it. Like the "Sex Sells" slope that has taken over advertising. Wanted to double hurl at a Kentucky Fried Chicken ad with this voluptuous model caring a box of greasy chicken. Yeah, like a girl like her eats KFC!

Not with her clothes on anyway! :D

Wouldn't want grease on the fab gear!

Whatever happened to the sweet old man on a rocking chair asking you to "try my chicken"?

That Simpsons ad for the catholic church comes to mind.

He died in 1980.

I couldn't find any authoritative source attributing the quote to either party. It was the one Twain quote that I didn't pull directly from a Twain book. Here is a discussion of the quote, which has been attributed to many over the years (This thread is the first instance I've seen of it being attributed to anyone other than Twain). Apparently Bartleby.com doesn't even list the quotation.

I've learned that many quotes of unknown origin are often attributed to Ben Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, or George Carlin. :D This one seems to be one of them.

What? Not Homer Simpson? :D

Doh! I guess I forgot about him. :o

A twist - Who said it?
 

Well, I KNEW that NovaScotian. ;)

I just mean whatever happened to that "down home, someone you can trust" style of advertising.

Those younger than us are jaded cynics and don't buy it? :)

I don't know how much you've looked at old advertisements, but I'm rather inclined to believe that this pretty much has never existed. I mean, just one look at the cold remedy ads from the early 1900's... And who can forget what they used to say about Tobacco! Even the "down home" stuff you see on TV is just manipulation. KFC is, after all, a corporation, not your next door neighbor. He doesn't want you to try his chicken, he wants you to buy it.

The only people you can trust in their advertising are word of mouth advertisers that you've known and trusted for years (i.e., that one guy at the Apple store who's been there since system 1 and always tells it like it is.)

it fell victim to advertising.

seriously! to the extent that that kind of advertising ever works, some competitor will come along and try to convince you that that "down home, someone you can trust" person is a shill for some cold, heartless corporate monstrosity (i.e., "don't trust them because they're lying to you; trust us instead").

One of my recent favorites...

Another from Mr. Vonnegut:

“Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.”

Tom, I think you'll appreciate this one. From an interview with Vonnegut.

I like Vonnegut a lot, here is a Douglas Adams quote that I love too.

I have always wanted to make that quote into a T-Shirt or something.

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
-- Dave Barry

2% of the people think, 3% of the people think they think, and 95% would rather die than think.
-- G. B. Shaw

So it goes.

I am reading Slaughter House Five right now as we speak, great book,

so it goes

.
Exam question: Define universe. Give three examples.

A bit more than a quote, I know, but I like it.

-Vonnegut

"Of course I haven't fulfilled my potential! What could be worse than fulfilling my potential? What would I do then?"
The late, great Peter Cook.

Wasn't Vonnegut talking about bluetooth cell phone earpieces and iPods -- some might say they had this effect. A fully-wired young lady walked into the passenger door of my car yesterday while I was stopped at a stop sign -- seemed very surprised I was there.

And, of course, the answer to the age-old "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?":
If a woodchuck could chuck wood, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck.

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary code, and those that don't."

There are two secrets to success in this world:
1. Never tell people everything you know.

OOOH, I like it! :D

I really like this one too.

I like this one too:
"There is no place like ~/"

.
"There are two types of people in this world: those who categorise people into two types and those who don’t."

That would be great on a T shirt. :)

Here's a quote by Bill Clinton.

"People are not impressed by the example of our power, but by the power of our example."

“No matter how cynical I get, it’s just never enough to keep up.”

Lily Tomlin

You have no idea how close to home that struck!
On the other hand, I am sure you do … :o

And you're more that 20 years younger than I. :D

Think what practice can do!

On the topic of "cynical", this one keeps growing on me. (From a bumper sticker...maybe it helps if you work with a lot of people with "Envision World Peace" bumper stickers on their cars.)

"Forget World Peace. Envision Turn Signals."

Oh man, I like this one!

Envision turn signals...

LOL

I saw this one years ago:

“Support democracy. Buy a politician.”

Here in New Mexico, that's considered sage advice.

No, John, it's thymely advise... <g>
Herb

That's what I heard from Rosemary.

"Time flies like an arrow"
--My colleges favorite ambigous pun

"Don't hate, procreate!" :D

I've always liked this bit of logic (from a BBQ apron):

"Time is money.
Money talks.
Talk is cheap."

Heard a second part to this the other day.