She didn't face death...but this woulda been a great Darwin Award
 

Ha! My wife would have called the automobile association and got a new battery delivered and installed.... and then opened the doors!

Those of us with a technological bent are always astonished by such stories, but having been married to such a woman for many years, I understand. My son reminded me of a story from years ago -- my wife and I were on a long drive in a VW Beetle and she was driving while I had a nap. She woke me by frantically shouting "The car won't slow down -- the accelerator is stuck", this after we had just climbed a long hill and were starting down the other side. I reached over and turned off the ignition, and then when we stopped, adjusted the accelerator cable return spring on the carburetor.

I'm just sitting here shaking my head with a stupid grin on my face.

And I thought this was going to be a story about Cruise Control. ;)

Years ago, the family's 1973 Chevy Impala SS had a vacuum hose pop loose.... the one going to the auto transmission. The transmission wouldn't shift, so my lovely wife drove it home, on the freeway at high speed, in low gear ..... and never thought anything about it. Next day, she tells me the car is acting funny, not sure what, but I should check it out.

Fortunately it was only a 5 mile trip and I escaped without having to replace the transmission or engine.... if it had been a 100 mile trip, that's how far it would have gone in low gear, no doubt about it.

In the whacky world of sheltered wives, things are just supposed to work. Period. And if they don't, well it's hubby's fault and they are damn angry at him about it !

DISCLAIMER: Just talking about my wife.... all other women throughout the world are technically competent, perfect and superior in every way. Of course, men do stupid things, too, and far more often than women. Etc., etc.

Well done -- goes for me too. :D

Every post in this thread (by a guy) should have that ...

Well Not on mine even though I'm a guy. Unmarried.

haha same here :p
Though for me it would be illegal to get married now:D
I don't know about my gf though:rolleyes:..

She still could get an honorable mention!
 

After all, if she remained locked in there long enough, it could have been deadly. :D

Have you heard about the blonde who almost starved to death in a power failure. She got stuck on an escalator..... :p :D

Im thankful there arnt too many women on this forum

And then there is the Possum Lodge Man's Prayer, "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."

My wife had a chance to turn the tables and bask in a public display of incompetence on my part. And it involves power locks.

We stood on either side of our (then) new car, about to leave a restaurant. As a silly prank, I quickly turned the key after opening my door, locking her out before she could open hers. Until that day, I hadn't used the key to lock the doors. I was in the habit of hitting the power locks while getting out, and didn't have an alarm to set.

She laughed, then told me, in colorful language, to unlock the door. So I pulled the latch - and set off my nonexistent alarm. (In my defense, there was no little beep signaling that the alarm was set - that signal turned out to be, for some reason, unreliable in our car.)

I sat, dumbfounded, behind the wheel for several long seconds, cursing the car salesmen who incorrectly told us the car had no alarm and wondering how to turn it off. I asked my wife if she knew, but she laughed heartily and loudly proclaimed me an idiot. She had no idea, but didn't want the bystanders to know that. She was reveling in schadenfreude.

I became so flustered by the blaring horn, gawking strangers, and my wife's smug ridicule that I decided to drive straight to the dealership (we had yet to buy cell phones) and ask them how to turn it off. I put the key into the ignition - hey presto. Who knew?

My wife will never let me forget that.

My friend Cindy (natural platinum blonde) would love that one. She used to sit by the campfire and tell blonde jokes for an hour - with no repeats.

Well, blondes aren't always dumb.. One of my best friends, Nikki, has light blonde hair and she's a honor-role student :D
Then again, at my old school there was a girl with gold blonde hair who took it seriously when my latin teacher said she's dating julius caesar.. Apparently she also taught he owned Caesar's Pizza.. Go figure :p
So I guess not all blondes are dumb, only some shades of blonde are :D

why are the dumb shades the cute shades lol

Ohh Kel, I wouldn't say that:rolleyes:..
My friend Nikki is quite cute.. If you don't believe me, look at my top #5 friend on myspace.. that's her :)

:S theres a guy at number 5

The only guys are #1, 2 and 8.. You sure you're looking at the top friends?

oh ok,.... found her... .she a'ight... id say a 6.. then again you know how high my standards are haha :rolleyes:

That's a bad pic of her too.. Get on iChat and maybe I'll show u some more descriptive pics:rolleyes:..

I have a similar story, but I was driving. The spring on this gals car broke off and I told the gal (in passenger seat), "Hey, look". I lifted my feet off the pedal and the car was speeding off same as always. She started to panic. "What will we do!?!" I calmly turned off the ignition and was able to temporarily fix it McGiever-style with a couple of hairpins and a rubberband. She was amazed. We drove to a local small town, found a hardware store, and replaced the spring with a good substitute.