Hermits, hobo's and others of such ilk are just a little smarter than the rest of us.

As I enter the golden years and look back over life, I find the greatest regrets are not the mistakes I made but rather the risky things I should have done and didn't. Two people in particular really, really deserved to be punched out.... and I sincerely regret not giving them what they clearly had coming!

I've been thinking a lot about being schizoid. Or rather, not being schizoid. I'm an oddity, even within that circle, as most schizoids do not recognize they have a problem, or if they do, do not see a need to rectify it. We're rather funny that way. We tend to fix all problems internally, and not see the need for any external help. This very ability is our strength, and yet is the cause of our problems.
It's a challenge learning how to communicate and interact with people in a meaningful way, and not to see everyone as merely autonomous objects. To equate others' feelings with the words coming out of your mouth, and even the intonation of those words.
Harder still, to bypass the internalization process, and allow out feelings we may have and even <shudder> to verbalize them.

My contribution to randomness for today.

That particular difficulty is probably a universal guy thing.

I hate all of you and I hope this forum burns to the ground. See, that wasn't hard at all! :D

(okay, maybe I'm better at lying than expressing my feelings)

I have to say posting on a forum is so much easier for me than real time conversation. My wife has learned to allow me a 10-15 second delay in conversation for me to consider my responses. In wider social settings this requirement kind of leaves me floundering. At a party it is even worse because there is little structure to conversation with people contributing ad-hoc. Unless there is an opportune break in the flow for me to formulate a reply and overcome my self-loathing enough to express it I'm pretty much sunk :o.

Among other things, that is precisely why I won't have anything to do with Chat and other similar technologies, but stick to e-mail and board postings. Seems to me that IRC just reproduces the worst features of cocktail party conversation without any of the best ones.

Well, if it makes you feel any better: I'm, one of the ones that is able to dominant a party conversation if I choose. The secret is pretty simple, just don't think before you speak. The problem is that this is also a terribly bad habit that I wish I could drop (the not thinking bit), but I seem to lack the patience to actually wait around to think my responses through... Diarrhea of the mouth I think they call it. It comes out fast and it's all #$@$.

I'm a little similar (depending on mood) and often wish that I was one of those people that can process the subtext of a conversation while also being in it. It's often after a pleasant conversation that I'll think to myself either A) Oh, no! I said that? I now realise that could come across badly or B) Hang on...now I get why they were saying XYZ, those bastards!

But instead, I'm cursed with being able garbage on the fly, but not always seeing the context of what I or others are really saying!

eh, party talk isn't so bad if you remember that most social conversation is emotional, not informational. most everything said at a party is intended to create, affirm, or adjust social relationships, and all you really need to do is validate what people around you say, and say things that people around you can validate. worst thing you can do at a party is open your mouth with some particular aim; parties are for creating a social fabric which will allow (later) any particular social goals you have to develop naturally.

it's like they used to say: a wise application of bullcrap is useful for getting the grass to grow.

my issue is dysthymia. I love parties, up until the point where the utter meaningless of life intrudes itself into the mix, which - for me - it always does. kind of a mood-killer, that. ;)

Damn those things. The bain-marie of my existence.


There's my new word for the day :D.

My issue is more panic related. I had some major party-related freak outs when I was younger and they kind of dampened my enthusiasm for the concept.

Yeah, well the jerk store called... :)

Sorry, couldn't resist a Seinfeld reference.

I got that word tucked in under my hat-band, unfortunately.

yeah, well, acid will do that to you - context is everything, dude. <heh heh heh>

I'll tell you, when I have friendly chats with my undergrads, I always advise them to stay away from the average 'mob-scene' UG party, and to throw dinner parties instead. mobbish parties are always going to fill you with low-grade uncertainty and dread (too many people, and too much going on from too many different angles - half the reason they crank the music up so high is to give people something to hide behind). dinner parties are structured almost to the point of being choreographed, you're forced to talk to people, and it's a slightly snobby experience to boot, all of which works well for the UG mindset. it's almost impossible to have a freak out at a dinner party.

unless the host makes the mistake of serving escargot, that is. yeeeEEeeeee...

Cue Brian Eno...

Why am I getting flash-backs to The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover?

hmmm... few of my undergrads are sociopathic crime lords. cannibals I'm not so sure about.

That you know of... ;)

Ah, mood disorders, is there nothing you can't ruin?

Party freak-outs can be great exercise motivators... speaking as someone who in his youth ran in the middle of the night from a party house to the train station... 8km away (about 4 miles). Did I mention I was young?

Stupid Penguins.

as long as they don't explode...

Don't know if any of the links still work but you can work out your issues here :)