Computer Stupidities is another one.

Here are a few of my favorites:

"DOS Computers, manufactured by hundreds of companies, are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form." -- The New York Times, November 26, 1991

'A computer without a Microsoft operating system is like a dog without bricks tied to its head.' -- attributed to Bruce Lundberg

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...oh, wait a minute - he already does.

(sorry, it is too much fun to poke at MicroSoft)

"I love to see the future early." --The Woz, Apple Employee #1, on waiting in line for the iPhone

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"Reading computer manuals without the hardware is
as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software."

-- Arthur C. Clarke
.

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

-- Michael Sinz

Now that is funny :D

"IBM Pollyanna Principle:
Machines should work. People should think."

I use a mac, so I already have half of the equation right. 50% to go! :rolleyes:

Made me think of:
A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard.

I know. :D

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“At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.”

– Unknown

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“Computers are like Old Testament gods: lots of rules and no mercy.”

– Joseph Campbell
.

I agree.

"640K (memory) ought to be enough for everybody"
fine, maybe he never said it, but I'd try to backpedal out of that one too

"Bill Gates is a monocle and a Persian cat away from being the villain in a James Bond movie."

Dennis Miller

In a world without boundaries... who needs Windows and Gates?

- unknown

I'm not sure if "favourite" is the right description for this quote;

"Scientists shouldn't have ethical responsibility for their inventions, they should be able to do what they want... You shouldn't ask them to have the same values as other people." - Marvin Minsky

Source: The Plan for Eternal Life

Wow! That sounds like words that could have been spoken by Wernher von Braun or Edward Teller. Here is a quote by the latter:

"Secrecy, once accepted, becomes an addiction."

-- Edward Teller


and here is the former in Tom Lehrer’s infamous parody, "The Wernher von Braun Song":

"Once ze missiles are up, who cares where zey land.
That’s not my department."
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My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
- Penn Jillett

"Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected. "
- Steve Jobs

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Author Unknown

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
- Steve Jobs

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of throughly useless information."
- Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of DEC

"I want to put a ding in the universe."
- Steve Jobs

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
- Popular Mechanics, 1949

"Hey, I know this! This is Unix!"
- Jurassic Park

"Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?"
- Steve Jobs

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
- Mitch Ratcliffe

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy ?"
- Top thing you don't want to hear from Tech Support.

"Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."
- Unknown Author

"I sit looking at this damn computer screen all day long, day in and day out, week after week, and think: Man, if I could just find the 'on' switch..."
- Zachary Good.

"Because we do not understand the brain very well we are constantly tempted to use the latest technology as a model for trying to understand it. In my childhood we were always assured that the brain was a telephone switchboard. ('What else could it be?') I was amused to see that Sherrington, the great British neuroscientist, thought that the brain worked like a telegraph system. Freud often compared the brain to hydraulic and electro-magnetic systems. Leibniz compared it to a mill, and I am told some of the ancient Greeks thought the brain functions like a catapult. At present, obviously, the metaphor is the digital computer."
- John R Searls.

"Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand."
- Putt's Law



One to many quotes? ;)

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"The Mac is the real source of all troubles in the world
look what happened when God gave Eve an Apple..."

-- Anonymous Microsoft employee

"The only thing wrong with Microsoft is that they have no taste."
- Steve Jobs

"There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go."
- Bill Gates

Lots of quotes here http://phd.pp.ru/Texts/fun/signatures.txt
To many to look through and pick from.

Ok, I thought I saw to many I liked to pick one. This one had me chuckling pretty good though:

"When the grammar checker identifies an error,
it suggests a correction and can even makes
some changes for you."
-- Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0 User's Guide.

Just like Microsoft to get it wrong. It wasn't an apple, and it wasn't God who gave it to her. Like Windows, she ate of it because a salesman told her it will make her wise. We have been suffering ever since. - Schneb

:D Actually, it's unlike them! Usually they're technically correct, but the information is unhelpful. Has the old helicopter flying around Redmond in the fog joke been told yet? — Oops, that's another thread.