Other firewalls are typically installed under /Library/StartupItems

well i tried that giskard, it lets me use the firewall now, but i cant use airport to connect. says no airport hardware found?

Weird. I wouldn't think Airport would be disabled in Safe Mode. Maybe you just need to open Sys Prefs/Network and click Apply.

Regardless, the point of the Safe Mode test was to determine if there's something else installed that's interfering. The likely answer is "yes". I'd follow Hayne's advice to check /Library/StartupItems and see if there's a clue as to what it is. You also might look through your Applications folder to see if you recognize anything network-related that didn't come from Apple.

To get back to normal mode, just restart.

that seems to have sorted the firewall issue. i had a lot of crap in there lol.

AMAZING!!! TY guys! its no back online lol. thanks so much to everyone for their help the last twp days, im not the easiest to work with since im relatively new to macs. so thanks a lot for all the help! :)

lifesavers lol