Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operation ;-)
 

01. You are not Superman
....
10. Try to look unimportant because the bad-guys might be low on ammo.
....
19. Friendly fire isn't!
20. If the enemy is in range - SO ARE YOU!
....
30. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
....
:D

"The idea that an arbitrary naive human should be able to properly use a given tool without training or understanding is even more wrong for computing than it is for other tools (e.g. automobiles, airplanes, guns, power saws)."
-- Doug Gwyn

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"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
-- Mitch Ratliffe

alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. so lets just get through with this and I will go back to killing you with beer.

-homer simpson

first they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win

-ghandi

a sword fight is like a game of chess, you must think before you move

-some old master in a kung fu movie

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.


There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

-douglas adams

Son: Dad, my teacher told me that the sun never used to set on the British empire.

Dad: That's because God would never trust the British in the dark



Ah, trust me to stir it up ;)

This was the signature file of someone on a TeX mailing list some years back. He gives a resource for it at the end.

"From the 1.5 kg of flaccid matter, convoluted folds, about 100 billion neuronal components, hundreds of trillions of interconnections, many thousand km of cabling, and a short cultural history has emerged Calculus, Swan Lake, and The Macintosh."
(Koch & Laurent, Science, 1999).


[Edited to add:

Here is a direct link to the source. (Chalk up another one for Google.)

As you'll see, the original text, from the first paragraph, is
"From the 1.5 kilograms of flaccid matter, convoluted folds, about 100 billion neuronal components, hundreds of trillions of interconnections, many thousand kilometers of cabling, and a short cultural history emerged calculus, Swan Lake, Kind of Blue, the Macintosh, and The Master and Margarita."

I'll have to check out Kind of Blue and The Master and Margarita. ]

Speaking of Calvin & Hobbes quotes, this one was my email sig for 5 years or so..

"I hate to think all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point" - Calvin

Kind of Blue, Miles Davis, 1959, a landmark recording in modern jazz, sometimes regarded as the definitive jazz album. most excellent.

It is better to have a sore than a seared conscience.

The Master and Margarita
 

I can heartily recommend "The Master and Margarita" (by Bulgakov). It's a fabulous novel. But be aware that there are several translations available and they vary considerably. Some try to be close literal translations, others try to capture the spirit of the Russian original. Generally recommended to read several versions!
Here's an excerpt (on Amazon) of the only version I've read in full:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...=4#reader-link

Re: The Master and Margarita
 

mervTormel and hayne....better than Google.

Thanks!

Kind of blue is an excellent album, so is blue train by john coltrane

When asked how he was doing, a man said "Hey man, every day that I can get up I got a shot." I like that one a lot.

A right is not what someone gives you; it?s what no one can take from you. - Ramsey Clark

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Anonymous

The Answer to the Great Question ... Of Life, the Universe and Everything ... Is ... Forty-two. - Douglas Adams

There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Let us reform our schools, and we shall find little reform needed in our prisons. - John Ruskin

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. - Salvador Dali

"would you like fries with that?"

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright (1955 - ?)

Howard Cosell (1925 - 1995) was standing at a podium of microphones before a crowd of reporters to give a speach when one of the microphones broke in half, and as he tried to hold the mic together & finish his speach at the same time, he stopped mid-sentence and remarked in his funny way: "This must be the evidence of doubt in proficiency". Ha!

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

"As if we could kill time without injuring eternity." - Henry D. Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

My boyfriends father, Charlie (1917 - 1999) had some good ones:

In response to the possiblity that one of his sons may have gotten a woman pregnant, his words of wisdom were.. "Is the *****ing you got worth the *****ing you'll get?" (lol)

Another good one of his.. "I'm too old of a cat to be *****ed by a kitten."

"And how would you like your steak cooked sir?"

ahh I love hearing that.

That boy's about as sharp as a bowlin' ball. ...Foghorn Leghorn, Looney Tunes

That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel of oatmeal. ...Foghorn Leghorn, Looney Tunes

But, can it core a apple? ...Ed Norton, The Honeymooners

A sewer worker's like a brain surgeon, we're both specialists. ...Ed Norton, The Honeymooners

Ralph: What does icky mean? Norton: I don't know why? Ralph: Alice just said I was icky. Norton: Must mean fat. ...The Honeymooners.

Norton: Hey a Ralph? Ralph: What? Norton: Do you mind if I smoke? Ralph: I don't care if ya burn. ...The Honeymooners.

"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity." - Buzz Lightyear

Jewish saying:

Wanna make God laugh?
Tell him your plans.

If you are not the lead sled dog, the world looks pretty much the same every day.
When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

A ship is safe in the harbour, but that's not what ships were built for.

Don't get caught with the sticky end of the lollipop.

She put the "HO" in homewrecker.

Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.... Forrest Gump

Cowboys don't cry.

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get muddy, but the pig loves it.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

"I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Alva Edison

"The biggest problem encountered while trying to design a system that was completely foolproof, was, that people tended to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams

stercus accidit, the learned way to say (excrement) happens - Anon.

'The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there's no difference, but in practice, there is.' - Yogi Berra

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example. - Dave Barry

'you can never un-say something' - my mum.

great bit of advice for gobshites everywhere... saved my ass on a number of occasions :D

Never suspect a conspiracy when simple incompetence can explain it all.

And for our friends in the mid west.... "Mother nature is a bitch."

Zumwalt's Law: The probability of failure of a demonstration is proportional to the number and importance of the people watching the test.

"Don't bring a gun to a sword fight then b*tch about how you can't parry." -someone on forums.nexuswar.com

"90% of this game is mental, the other half is physical" -- Yogi Berra

.
"I don’t need inspiration. Just give me a deadline."

-- Louis Armstrong