Ralph quotes:

You look like mommy after a box of wine

Me fail english, thats unpossible

Now my bugers burn

smells like hotdogs

tastes like burning

The best damn quote of them all:

http://darthmegalon.itgo.com/photo5.html -> Select "Moe:Lie(big but funny)"

"...I don't deserve this kind of treatment"

<lie detector buzzes>

Wait I was wrong, it was earth all along, yes you've finally made a monkey out of meeeeeeee - Troy McClure

Aye, don't be sad boy, I was wrestling dogs before you wuz sucking on yer moms teet - Grounds keeper willy

Smithers, dismember the body and send the widow a ham - Mr Burns.

fat tony: Johny tight lips how's your mother?

Johny: Who says I have a mother?



Gangster: Shaddup you a face

Lingo the grammar bot: Shut up Your face.

While chasings Homer & Bart through the air ducts of Springfield Elementary, Willie catches Homer:
"Not so fast boy-o! Well, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. [curls his fingers into a fist] But the lads have a temper, and they've been drinkin' all day! "
[starts punching Homer]
Homer cries out: "Stop pummeling me! It really hurts!"

Oh, heres your problem. Someone switched this doll to 'evil' - the crusty the clown doll repair man.

Don't zou hate it when zee guys leave zee toliet zeat up? Dats da Joke
<guy from the audience> YOU SUCK MCCBANE

mccbane on his talk show - Dat Bill Clinton what a homozexual
crowd - BOOOOOOO
Mccbane - Den perhaps all of zou are homozexuals

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there. - Ralph

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

Edited 'cause I just ran across this:

Homer Simpson voted 'best American'

Hahahahah man Ralph has some of the best quotes

Ralph: "I bent my wookie."

Ralph: "I choo choo choose you!"

"... and it's got a picture of a train."

LOL oh man yellow, I totally forgot about the "I bent my wookie" quote hahah that one is great

(this is when homer is at the film festival, and a guy has this short film of a football hitting him in the nuts)

GIVE THAT MAN THE 10,000 DOLLARS!

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
-homer

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
-Homer

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."
-Homer

Marge: "Homer! Stop picking at it!"
Homer: "Aww.. But I'm so sweet and tastey!"

Fed: Tell you what sir. From now on you'll be--ahh, Mr. Homer-- Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmm? When I say "Hello, Mr. Thompson", you'll say "Hi."
Homer: Check.
Fed: Hello, Mr. Thompson. (silence) Remember now-- your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha.
Fed: Hello, Mr. Thompson...(silence) *sigh* Now, when I say "Hello, Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Fed: Hello, Mr. Thompson! (silence)
Homer to 2nd Fed: I think he's talking to you!

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/...son5/cape8.mp3

OK ending on a high note:

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconVall...r/beerkill.wav

This is last one for me for a while.. I'm ODing on Simpson's quotes!

[note: direct link doesn't seem to work.. open to this page, copy & paste link]

My personal favorite
 

Agent: Rainer, ever hear of The Planet of the Apes?
Rainer: The planet or the movie?

I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left - Barney

I'm tired of all of you holding me back, I'm going to clown college - Homer