Favorite simpsons quotes
 

Tastes like burning - Ralph Wiggam

Okay brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so lets get through this together. Then I will go back to killing you with beer - Homer J. Simpson

I thought he was a party robot - Homer J. Simpson

Smithers, hand me the mind eraser. You mean the revolver sir? Smithers, and Mr. Burns

You know you can make a real poll if you want?

yeah i know, but can you make it so people can enter their own quotes? I wouldn't want to type in tons of simpsons quotes.

"Some folk'll never ____ and then again some folk'll. Like Cleatus the slack jawed yokel."

---

(it's not just a vote. it's a question too. i've had that song in my head for months now, and i can never fill in the blank.)

Good Glaivin!

"Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll... like Cletus the slack jawed yokel."

http://animatedtv.about.com/library/...awed_yokel.wav

Sorry. Maybe in 10.3. ;)

I could post to this thread all day:

yellow,

a million thank yous. everything makes sense now. and remember: you don't make friends with salad.

HS: "Television! Teacher, Mother... Secret Lover"

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.

_______
Homer Simpson

"Doh!!!" - Homer Simpson (every episode)

"There's no justice like angry-mob justice." - Seymor Skinner

"Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what? " - Moe Szyslak

A Fish Called Selma
 

Legs: Hey, isn't that Troy McClure? I thought you said he was dead!

Fat Tony: No....I said he sleeps with the fishes.

Homer & Bart at the US Post Office..

Homer (in a sing song voice): "Hello, my name is mister Burns, I believe you have a letter for me."
PO Worker: "Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer (in a sing song voice): "I don't know.."
Now sitting on the steps in front of the USPS Homer looks at Bart and says:
"Pbbppht.. nice plan Bart."

Mr. Simpson: "Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

Homer on phone: Operator, give me the number for 911!

Good segue..

When answering the 911 Hotline:
Chief Wiggum: "No, you've got the wrong number, this is 91..2."

http://darthmegalon.itgo.com/photo5.html -> choose Wiggum912
(sorry cannot directly link, it won't open)

homer loses maggie and is on the phone with the lost childrens hotline, and is on hold. Some music starts playing through the phone "Baby come back, you can blame it all on me. I was wrong, and I just can't live with out you" Homer starts crying.

No dad eat around the banana, those are just empty vitamins, - Bart

Furious George, what happened? Smithers this monkey will need 80% of your skin - Mr Burns

I take a whisky drink, I take a vodka drink, when I gotta go, I pee in the sink - Homer

Tis not a man, tis a remorseless eating machine

Homer: "Donuts, is there anything they can't do?"

Ralph quotes:

You look like mommy after a box of wine

Me fail english, thats unpossible

Now my bugers burn

smells like hotdogs

tastes like burning

The best damn quote of them all:

http://darthmegalon.itgo.com/photo5.html -> Select "Moe:Lie(big but funny)"

"...I don't deserve this kind of treatment"

<lie detector buzzes>

Wait I was wrong, it was earth all along, yes you've finally made a monkey out of meeeeeeee - Troy McClure

Aye, don't be sad boy, I was wrestling dogs before you wuz sucking on yer moms teet - Grounds keeper willy

Smithers, dismember the body and send the widow a ham - Mr Burns.

fat tony: Johny tight lips how's your mother?

Johny: Who says I have a mother?



Gangster: Shaddup you a face

Lingo the grammar bot: Shut up Your face.

While chasings Homer & Bart through the air ducts of Springfield Elementary, Willie catches Homer:
"Not so fast boy-o! Well, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. [curls his fingers into a fist] But the lads have a temper, and they've been drinkin' all day! "
[starts punching Homer]
Homer cries out: "Stop pummeling me! It really hurts!"

Oh, heres your problem. Someone switched this doll to 'evil' - the crusty the clown doll repair man.

Don't zou hate it when zee guys leave zee toliet zeat up? Dats da Joke
<guy from the audience> YOU SUCK MCCBANE

mccbane on his talk show - Dat Bill Clinton what a homozexual
crowd - BOOOOOOO
Mccbane - Den perhaps all of zou are homozexuals

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there. - Ralph

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

Edited 'cause I just ran across this:

Homer Simpson voted 'best American'

Hahahahah man Ralph has some of the best quotes

Ralph: "I bent my wookie."

Ralph: "I choo choo choose you!"

"... and it's got a picture of a train."

LOL oh man yellow, I totally forgot about the "I bent my wookie" quote hahah that one is great

(this is when homer is at the film festival, and a guy has this short film of a football hitting him in the nuts)

GIVE THAT MAN THE 10,000 DOLLARS!

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
-homer

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
-Homer

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."
-Homer

Marge: "Homer! Stop picking at it!"
Homer: "Aww.. But I'm so sweet and tastey!"

Fed: Tell you what sir. From now on you'll be--ahh, Mr. Homer-- Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmm? When I say "Hello, Mr. Thompson", you'll say "Hi."
Homer: Check.
Fed: Hello, Mr. Thompson. (silence) Remember now-- your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha.
Fed: Hello, Mr. Thompson...(silence) *sigh* Now, when I say "Hello, Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Fed: Hello, Mr. Thompson! (silence)
Homer to 2nd Fed: I think he's talking to you!

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/...son5/cape8.mp3

OK ending on a high note:

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconVall...r/beerkill.wav

This is last one for me for a while.. I'm ODing on Simpson's quotes!

[note: direct link doesn't seem to work.. open to this page, copy & paste link]

My personal favorite
 

Agent: Rainer, ever hear of The Planet of the Apes?
Rainer: The planet or the movie?

I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left - Barney

I'm tired of all of you holding me back, I'm going to clown college - Homer

I can't believe I forgot to put this one down

"See you in HELL candy boys!" Homer as he tosses a soda pop/pop rocks bomb.

Homer and Bart singing to Lisa, after they decide to have a BBQ and Lisa wants it to be vegetarian.

"You can't win friends with salad"

A cautious return then? ;)

Maybe...nothing like a good Simpsons quote thread to get some posting in. Are the Simpsons broadcast over where you are?

Bart, calling Moe's tavern: I'd like to speak to Amanda Hugginkiss.

Moe: Phone call for Amanda Hugginkiss. Amanda Hugginkiss?! Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?

Barney: Maybe your standards are too high.

--------

Ralph: Daddy, my nose is bleeding again.

Chief Wiggums: Well that's because you're picking it too much...or not enough.

-------

Ralph: I have TWO owies!

More Ralph quotes:

Eeeeverybody is Hugging!!............


"my cats breath smells like cat food"


"My cat sleeps in a drawer."

"So, um Lisa, do you like... stuff?"

"Umm... Miss Hoover? I glued my head to my shoulder."

"That's where I saw the leperchaun! He told me to burn things."


"Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office."

[edit] corrected the mistake yellow, guess you are the uber simpsons geek, and I am a lesser simpsons geek [/edit]

Homer: Moe I need your advice...
Moe: Yeah?
Homer:See I've got this friend named Joey Joe Joe.. Junior.. Shabadoo?
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
Guy: *runs out of the bar, crying*
Barney: Aye! Joey Joe Joe!


Teehee! here

From the episode on right now -
Homer: "I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie, or just finished lying ... but not when I am telling the truth!"

HAHAHAHAHA I totally forgot about that quote that one is hiliarious!

okay this one is long but none the less very funny.

Marge: (reading through an alcohalic pamplet)Homer do you ever hide beer around the house?
Homer: Do I ever (opens up the top of the toilet and there is a six pack of duff hidden in there)
Marge: Homer do you drink to escape reality?
Homer: is sing do-do-dodolololodo while imagining himself being very buff and flexing his muscles.
Marge: (they are in bed and the lights are just turned off) Do you have to drink to go to sleep?
Homer: (doesn't answer and you hear a beer can open)
Marge: What was that?
Homer: I said, Psssst I love you.

I cannot believe I forgot this one until now. This has to be one of my all time favorite quotes. Infact my friends and I used to say this quote back and forth about all kinds of different things all the time.

Marge: Is this Branson?
local man: No, this is Bronson Missouri
Marge: Okay thanks
(camera pans over to a boy and his mom walking down the street)
Boy: Hey Ma! how bout some cookies?
Mom: No dice.
Boy: This, ain't, over...

I think I must have said that no dice quote 1000 times at least.

This is the worst thread ever. Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!

tlarkin, are you the creator of Hi and Lois, because you are making me laugh.

And now, I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.


Sigh. I really hate that I identify so much with the Comic Book Guy. Worst role model ever.

Heh.. more surly comentary from the Comic Book Guy:

Comic Book Guy: Oh please. If I wanted to hear mindless droning I'd befriend an air conditioner.
Moe: Oh now he's raggin' on air conditioners.
Carl: Hey they keep us cool in the summer, pal.
Lenny: Get 'em!!

Listen here

Just curious are any of you guys out there family guy fans? I love that show as well, reminds me of the simpsons.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...s=dvd&n=507846

:D

Having been born & rasied a Rho-dylan (RI), I like any show that pokes fun at my wee home state.
"Biggest Little State in the Union!"

CM Burns: What is the use of money if you can't inspire fear in your fellow man?

Can I ask a silly question? How is this a poll?

originally i was going to make it a poll, but I could not decide on a certain number of simpsons quotes to make it a poll. Then I tried to see if it would be able to make it so that each person could add their own quote to the poll. you cannot do that. so it ended up not being a poll. not to mention it would take hours to plug in all the simpsons quotes i knew off hand. sorry i wasn't thinking when i made this thread

:)

When Rainer Wolfcastle is off set from shooting a movie and you see his silouette in the trailer through the window. He takes off his muscle suit and hangs it on a coat hanger and says:

"No one must know"

"That gun had a hold on me. It gave me a feeling of power, like God must feel when he's holding a gun."

--Homer

Chief Wiggum says: "Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!"

Homer says into the phone: "Quick operator, get me the number for 911!"

Scientist Guy: This can't be right, this man has 104% body fat! Hey, no eating in the tank!_
Homer: Go to hell.

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/...3/brother1.mp3

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscars night?
We do! We do!

Allright yellow, here are some simpsons trivia questions, lets see how you line up.

1) Which character was originally a black person and later on became white (or yellow i guess)?

2) What was the original color of Moe's apron?

3) What state is Springfield in? They mentioned it once in one episode. I will give you a hint, there was a narrator. He said, "This small ____ family." It was the episode where they recapped over the simpsons family life.

Pink!

Yellow you are here by crowned UBER SIMPSONS GEEK.

Thanks. This is the proudest moment of my life. *sniff* I'm the only person I know that can actually answer 75% of the hard questions in the Simpsons Trivia game. **CHEER**

Dog Food
 

Homer: Well crying isn't gonna bring him back! Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog!!

I can't believe I forgot this one:
 

Homer: 'I just wish once someone would call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."'

This is when homer gets that self help book, and one of the chapters says live everyday like its your last.

Homer: <crying sitting on a curb> I don't wana die!

Homer: "Oh Lisa, you and your stories.. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that.. building.. thingy.. where our beds and T.V... is."

d'oh!

Homer: Looks like you're missing a wife.

Yeah! :p

Actually, the doh sound was already on the NeXT box; I used it (back in 1994) as the standard error sound!
The sound of glass breaking was also a good alarmer, but much more annoying. :cool:
I also like (and not only as a sound): Mmmm, beer!

Leo

Homer gets really fat so he can't work and collect disability.

He dials the phone.

Boo Doo Doop. (Operator) "We're sorry. The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm... now"

Bart: Yep, there's your answer, fishbulb

Cletus: Hey kids! We're havin' dinner t'night!

Cletus: Are you some kinda moe-ron?

Dear Die Hard,

You are totally awesome. Especially that scene on the roof.

PS Do you know Mad Max?

-Homer Simpson

Homer Dreaming!
Ahhh... Cobras....:eek:

Cletus: What time and how burnt?

Googled for simpson quotes (110,000 hits!),
and found this site:
Simpson's Quotes , Simpson's Quotations, Simpson's Sayings - Famous Quotes and Famous Sayings Network

Not the best Simpson quotes, but a wealth of various other quotes:
Bumper Sticker Quotes
Famous Last Words Quotes
Math Quotes
to just name some!

Leo

"I don't get mad, I get stabby!"
-Fat Tony

Max Power doesn't cuddle.

Where did you get the name max power?

I got it off the blow dryer.

-Homer

<snicker> Max Power! </snicker>

"Mr. Plow, that's my name,
that name again is Mr.Plow."

-Homer

(during the monkey knife fight)

<slash>
Moe: Aww! He ain't pretty no more.

...later on

Mr Burns: Furious George what happened? Smithers this monkey will need 80% of your skin.

"Seeeeeee myyyyyy vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest"

HAHAHAHA man Mr Burns rules! I forgot about that whole song until you just mentioned it.

No doubt, Instant classic!

"Save me Jeebus!"
-Homer

"Jesus, Allah, Budda, I love you all!"

and of course,

"Save me, Mr. X! No wait, I'm Mr. X. Aw..."

Sorry I'm Late on This One...
 

Homer reaches under the couch to find a peanut he dropped, instead he finds a $20 bill...
"Twenty dollars? Aww, I wanted a peanut."
Tilt to brain.
"Wait, twenty dollars can buy many peanuts."
Back to Homer.
"Explain!"
Back to brain.
"Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Back to Homer.
"Woohoo!"

Another...

Picking up dealt cards in poker.
"Doh... doh... doh... doh... I mean... wooohooo..."

Another...

In court, Bart feels guilty for not testifying. Looking at the jury, he knows what they are thinking about him. He looks to Homer...

"I know you can read my thoughts, son. Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow."

Another...

"Musicians, is there anything they don't know."

Another...

"Ooooh, he card read good."


There are so many, folks.

(homer goes back to school)

<teacher>...And you can see that the donut is turning purple that is was filled with calories and must have been delicious.

<homer> NOOOOOO!

I saw some guy with a T-shirt the other day that said "F@*K Shelbyville". I think that the guy may have made it himself but it was still cool

[Homer in a moral quandry sees a halo that looks like a donut]

"I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious."

"Ah, sweet liquor, eases the pain." -- Troy McClure

A math-wiz friend of mine postulated that the universe was torus-shaped. He laughed outloud when I told him that on a Simpsons episode, Stephen Hawking was intrigued by Homer's view of the universe being shaped like a donut.

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer

"Aww.. Nothing good ends in -eum. Good things end in -mania and -teria!" Homer

"thats the kind of dog you have to feed every day" (homer to bart)

"i think i just downloaded onto my internet". refering to the great invention that lines swimming trunks (lenny to carl, or is it carl to lenny?)

marge-how are the kids going to get home
homer- I dont know, interrnet?

homer- now im not a praying man, but if you're out there, HELP ME SUPERMAN!!!

marge-whats that sound (explosions from the alcohol homer is making in the garage)
homer- oh, it must have been that...bean i had for dinner. BLAMO!!, POW!!! (but the best part is that he is wearing the reading glasses)

and lastly

homer- oh did you hear they got the internet on computers these days?

A clarification to earmuff's quote.

Lenny and Carl did indeed talk about this new invention called the "internet", which is the netting found inside of swimsuits. When wearing the suits, they were freaked out by Homer's plunge into the shallow quarry from a high cliff. Lenny's quote is...

"Yeah, I just logged-on my internet."

Call me "Threadromancer" - Bringing old threads back from the dead!
 

Episode: Marge vs. The Monorail

A first . . .
 

Probably never been a link to the Church Times on OSXhints before. . .

b.