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CAlvarez
03-30-2005, 04:20 PM
I can't decide if I'm worried because I know who Abbot & Costello were or
if I should be more worried because I understood the conversation!!!

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about
buying a computer.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.


ABBOTT: Your computer?


COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.


ABBOTT: What about Windows?


COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?


ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?


COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?


ABBOTT: Wallpaper.


COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.


ABBOTT: Software for Windows?


COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business.


What do you have?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?


ABBOTT: I just did.


COSTELLO: You just did what?


ABBOTT: Recommend something.


COSTELLO: You recommended something?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: For my office?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!


ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.


COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


ABBOTT: Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: Word in Office.


COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.


ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?


ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".


COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
straight answers, OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?


ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.


COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. Just tell me what I need!


ABBOTT: Real One.


COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can
I watch them?


ABBOTT: Of course.


COSTELLO: Great! With what?


ABBOTT: Real One.


COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?


ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".


COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?


ABBOTT: The blue "1".


COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "w"?


ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!


ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.


COSTELLO: It is?


ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.


COSTELLO: And that word is real one?


ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of
Office.


COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping?
You have anything I can track my money with?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?


ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.


COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?


ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.


COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?


ABBOTT: One copy.


COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?


ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


(A few days later)


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. May I help you?


COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?


ABBOTT: Click on "START"...

mark hunte
03-30-2005, 04:36 PM
Ha,ha,ha. Nice

The Abbott & CAlvarez Show
-- :D


They where my favorite.

Shame there's not a duo like them around now days.

I think I am going to have to rent some of their films soon, You have given me pangs for their sense of humor...

Caius
03-30-2005, 04:39 PM
I have never heard of thingy and thingy, but they sound like Laurel and Hardy.

Made me laugh though..

Craig R. Arko
03-30-2005, 05:37 PM
The original classic (http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor4.shtml).

On the lefthand side of the page, right under the musical note, is the link to download the audio cut. Windows Media format, unfortunately, but plays fine in the OS X version of WMP.

CAlvarez
03-30-2005, 06:21 PM
You'd think out of the 2783 channels on satellite, you'd find one with old stuff like this, the Stooges, some Chaplin, and a little Groucho for good measure. Not that I'm old enough to have seen any of it when first run, but as a kid I found them all hilarious.